Friday, 18 September 2026

Has it really been 12 years…

​Yes it has. Crazy. 

So I’ve got a sh*t tonne of catching up to do on 12 years of life shizzle, travel & music escapades, and my sight loss journey.

However, before I work out how and what to share from over a decades worth of experiences, here is something I have recently shared on Facebook and to sight loss groups on there. I find it fascinating, which is a personal blessing as once I came out of the initial ten year denial phase after I was diagnosed at the age of 23, I’ve since never really been “afraid” of my degenerative condition, more intrigued by it… 

Maybe that’s how I deal with not being in control of its development.


Image description:

Quotation graphic. Black and white portrait photo of Helen Keller in a circle border with “Stoicism Daily” written underneath. Below that in larger text is the quote “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.”

This post won’t be for everyone, it’s quite specific, very nerdy and rather long. But for anyone who may be interested in general brain & sensory shiz, and/or if you have been diagnosed with any of these three conditions, this starter info could help.

Personally I have just read about Brain-Based Blindness (never heard it before) and VSS was only officially recognised as an actual condition by the worldwide medical profession last year (which I’ve always known I have, but could never explain what it was). And RP is what I’ve known about for half my life.  

Be it down to medical developments, AI internet search being more detailed, or my mind being inquisitive again… Put them all together and I’ve had an epiphany (once again this past year), as a lot more things are starting to make sense.

Check this out…

(though no offence taken if you don’t continue to read, probably super boring!) 🤦🏻‍♀️

Retinitis pigmentosa (RP), visual snow syndrome (VSS), and brain-based blindness(such as Cortical Visual Impairment or Cerebral Visual Impairment - CVI) represent a fascinating spectrum of vision disorders. 

They highlight how vision can break down at different stages of the visual pathway: the eye hardware (the retina), the visual transmission process (neurological filtering), or the processing center (the brain's visual cortex)

While historically viewed as separate entities, modern neuro-ophthalmology recognizes deep clinical overlaps and diagnostic challenges connecting these three phenomena. 

————————

The Three Pillars of Visual Dysfunction:

1. Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP)

Primary Mechanism:

Ocular (Eye Hardware). Progressive genetic degeneration of photoreceptors (rods and cones) in the retina.

Core Symptoms: Night blindness, tunnel vision, loss of peripheral vision, and photopsia (flashing lights).

Diagnostic Findings:

Abnormal - Visible retinal changes, reduced visual field, and diminished electrical activity on an Electroretinogram (ERG).

2. Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS)

Primary Mechanism:

Neurological (Filter System). Hyper-excitability in the brain's visual processing centers (e.g., lingual gyrus) causing a failure to filter out "background noise".

Core Symptoms: Continuous TV-like static across the entire visual field, trailing afterimages (palinopsia), and extreme light sensitivity.

Diagnostic Findings: 

Normal - Structurally perfect eyes and basic brain scans (MRI/CT), though functional imaging may show hyperexcitability.

This website about VSS and brain chemistry is super interesting.

www.maudsleybrc.nihr.ac.uk/news/new-brain-scan-study-discovers-possible-biological-basis-of-visual-snow-syndrome/

3. Brain-Based Blindness (CVI)

Primary Mechanism: Neurological (Processing Center). Damage or dysfunction to the visual cortex or post-chiasmal pathways, often due to stroke, trauma, or lack of oxygen.

Core Symptoms: Field cuts, inability to process complex visual scenes, cortical blindness (inability to see despite working eyes), agnosia, and only being able to focus on one sense at a time (e.g. looking away to hear someone talking).

Diagnostic Findings: Normal Eyes, Abnormal Brain. Structurally normal eye exams, but lesions or damage visible on an MRI or functional brain imaging.

————————

Key Overlaps and Interconnections

1. The Retinal Mimic: RP Causing "Secondary Visual Snow"

One of the most profound connections is that retinitis pigmentosa can directly cause visual snow symptoms. 

* Research shows that roughly 22% of individuals with RP experience persistent visual static or a "pixelated" field of vision.

* When photoreceptors in the retina degenerate from RP, the brain loses its steady stream of baseline visual input. In response, the inner retina or the brain's visual cortex begins to "misfire," generating its own spontaneous electrical noise. This phenomenon is often diagnosed as secondary visual snow or persistent photopsia.

2. The Diagnostic Dilemma

Because true Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS) requires structurally normal eyes to be diagnosed, underlying retinitis pigmentosa is considered a classic "VSS mimic". In its early stages, RP can trigger night blindness, photophobia, and visual static—which perfectly mirror VSS diagnostic criteria. Because of this, specialized clinics like Moorfields Eye Hospital emphasize utilizing optical coherence tomography (OCT) and ERG testing to verify whether a patient's visual static is an ocular issue (RP) or a brain-filtering issue (VSS).

3. Brain-Based Processing and De-afferentation

Both RP and brain-based blindness share a concept called de-afferentation. When the brain is deprived of sensory input—either because the eye's retina has degraded (RP) or because the optical pathways are damaged (CVI)—the visual cortex experiences a sensory vacuum. This vacuum can cause the brain to abnormally adapt, leading to central changes in how vision is processed, sometimes manifesting as phantom visual patterns, static, or release hallucinations (such as Charles Bonnet Syndrome).

Management Strategies.

Because these conditions originate from different points in the visual pathway, their care teams often consist of specialized neuro-ophthalmologists, neurologists, and low-vision therapists. 

* For Retinitis Pigmentosa: Management centers around preserving remaining sight via low-vision aids, mobility training, and targeted treatments like gene therapy for specific variants (e.g., RPE65 mutations). 

* For Visual Snow Syndrome: Since there is no absolute cure, treatment focuses on symptom reduction. Patients often find relief using specialized chromatic filters (FL-41 or yellow-blue spectrum lenses), treating comorbid migraines, or utilizing specific neuro-optometric vision rehabilitation.

For Brain-Based Blindness: Care heavily relies on neuro-rehabilitation, orientation and mobility training, and environmental modifications to optimize the brain's remaining visual pathways.

💪 Referral back to Moorfields Eye Hospital in London after 25 years now on top of my to-do list! 


Monday, 18 May 2015

Flying visit to Japan: The awesomeness!

It's whilst I am sat at Charles De Gaulle airport waiting for my final connecting flight back to the UK that I can reflect on what has to be one of my maddest, craziest, most awesome of weekends to date - and all without the elements of intoxicating substances (by that I mean alcohol of course), parties or festival shenanigans. 

A round trip from Cambridge to Tokyo in 5 days to support and work my representative magic with Wolfgang Flür is an opportunity I will never forget.


Arriving early evening on Thursday, I was pretty apprehensive about finding myself in one of the worlds most hectic cities, & especially without an escort from the airport. But immediately I felt a sense of calm and safety after arriving by coach to Shinjuku. Asking a few people for directions to the Ibis hotel was so easy - everyone was really approachable. This clip was literally my first impression and experience: https://www.facebook.com/misschivers/videos/10153200995175733/

With the jet-lag working hard on my brain, I stayed up & walked around the district from 3am to try to catch the sunrise. But in such a built up area, this was pretty impossible!


Friday we had a day to relax and myself, Wolfgang and his wife Zuhal went for lunch at the incredible national park, Shinjuku Gyoen. There is a distinct lack of open space in Shinjuku but this oasis was just bliss - the smells and the lush greenery seemed a world away from the fast-paced normality that is Tokyo.


I then dedided to mark this once in a lifetime trip by marking myself - which is the most spontaneous thing I have done to date. Don't get me wrong, I am an avid tattoo collector already, it just normally takes me months if not years of procrastinating before I decide on a design each time. I had no time here, and rather than tourist tat as a souvenier, I got an actual tat instead :-) 


Wolfgang had his gigs at Marz club on the Saturday and Sunday evenings. The fans were mental (in a nice way!) and were so excited to have him there. Some were shaking so much when he did a signing session after each performance! The sets were great as usual and it was such a pleasure to be there with him. When I work out how to directly upload videos to the blog, I will add cuts from the gigs! For now, here's a pic and also one of the tracks he included:

Although this is one of the slower tracks in his set, the rest is pretty much banging techno of around the 140bpm vibe!

Apart from the gigs and having a business meetings with Wolfgang about his forthcoming album as well as him requesting a remix from me (GET IN!!!) the rest of the time was spent just immersing myself in this perculiar yet comfortable place. Saying that, the noise and the constant bombardment of advertising does get a little overwhelming!


I don't tend to do the tourist trails when I travel, I just like to take it all in... And I certainly felt that I accomplished that in Tokyo. 


Sunday, 17 May 2015

Flying weekend visit to Japan: Jet-lag Diaries

I'll quickly explain the mental reason why I am here - Little old me is lucky enough to be the agent for Wolfgang Flur (ex-Kraftwerk) & I added myself as crew onto his two date Japanese visit with all expenses covered. Get in with that one! 


So... I'll start with the actual sleep/awake patterns, so that I don't interject the actual awesome stuff with comments of huge sleep deprivation moments of not being able to talk properly (English, Japanese, whatever, it was gobbledegook) and eating dinner at strange hours:

Wednesday 13.05: flight left at 8pm UK time with a transfer at Paris.

Thursday 14.05: arrived at Tokyo around 6pm local time (that'll be 8am UK time).
My major school girl error here was sleeping a solid 9 hours out of the 11 hour flight from Paris to Tokyo - without meds - how the hell did I do that?!
Thursday night I couldn't sleep a wink, so ploughed on through.

Friday 15.05: things started to go a little weird around 3pm, so I went for a "nap" at 5pm. A lovely Scottish lady at the hotel gave me two sleeping pills with the advice "only one will do the trick lovey"

Saturday 16.05: woke up at 4pm - WTF??!!! (I may have taken both sleeping pills) - then headed to the gig venue.
Saturday night I couldn't sleep, so trundled on through, again.

Sunday 17.05: took a 4 hour nap at 1pm, and headed to the venue for 6pm.
Which brings me up to date - it's 2.15am and I can't bleeding sleep again! I leave the hotel at 7am for the airport bus, so once again, I'm riding this one through.

But when I add it up, over a 5 day period, I've slept 36 hours. It makes perfect sense, my mind never left the UK time zone!


Saturday, 16 May 2015

Bridging the past 6 months

In order for me to catch up on my blog I'm just going to summarise the last 6 months, so that the next "present" post makes more sense. If just to myself than anyone else.

In fact I have no idea who reads this, or who will read it in the future. For me, it's not a cry for attention through the World Wide Web or an attempt to log my mark on the world... If anything it's just a way of getting things out of my head & will be a very good way of remembering what on earth I got up to in my younger years when I'm old and decrepid! Although not *everything* - other bits and bobs would have to be recorded in an alter-ego pseudonym blog :-) 
Now there's an idea...

So, the last 6 months, short & sweet:

- Sorted out my working life so that I enjoy it & it's pretty much stress free whilst also keeping the bills paid (see my profile for a run down). Finally I am focusing on a few things instead of trying to do too much.

- Went on various weekend jaunts with my favourite people, for work and pleasure (a regular occurrence which will continue throughout the year and beyond), including an ace PR stunt for Electronic Sound magazine where I met some of my electronic music idols.



- Actually started to nest build and turned my flat into something amazing to relax in (the rare times I am at home), but all through the help of my late grandma & what she left me. She had this all planned out no doubt! 


- Managed to not go stir crazy mad by developing some of my ideas into actual things that work, including getting a fab sponsor for B-Side Project which will launch again in September this year internationally:
(Website needs to be updated for this year!) 

- Made sure I keep on the charity and voluntary work but not so much so that I don't have time left for me. It's one thing realising that although I have RP (Retinitis Pigmentosa, a genetic degenerative eye condition) there are far more people worse off than me, but there's another thing actually realising that speading myself too thinly is going to be counter-productive.

- Getting to work with the legendary Wolfgang Flür who weirdly rates my work so much that he upped my percentage from the standard 15% agent rate to a larger fee :-)


Done.  Which leads me to the present day and the introduction to my next post from Japan :-)




It's taken a while...

...to write the final piece for the Peru trip, which literally peaked at a height of around 4,600m over The Andes, after which I took in the magnificence of Machu Picchu and the Sun Gate.



It was the most incredible experience, not just the finale at seeing one of the worlds wonders, but the entire four week journey.  What I underestimated was the journey I was mentally making too - I started something in Peru and it's taken me until now to finish the process as well as to appreciate what it did for me. 


This is why it has taken so long to write this post. I realised that I was going in a direction I had no control over, and with my diminishing eyesight I realised I needed to follow this mantra: "never get so busy trying to make a living that you forget to make a life"



Here's a video link which sums up the trek: https://www.facebook.com/misschivers/videos/10152774347870733/

Upon my return I closed down two limited businesses, one of which wasn't doing so great after 5 years uphill struggle, and one which never really got off the ground due to lack of support. I also *gutted* my flat, which could be seen as a little mid-life episode. And when I say gutted, I mean all the furniture went and the carpets, and I spent a good few months with just the bare minimum bean bag chair and futon mattress. Starting from scratch, quite literally.

Of course I went to Peru to raise funds and awarness for deaf-blind children & young adults in the UK and Peru, and you can still donate here, and a music release is planned this year to continue the fundraising: http://goo.gl/aHBYt6

I know the funds will have a direct positive effect on the work of Sense UK and Sense International in the projects I visited; I just didn't realise at the time what a profound effect it would have on me too.

In the last 6 months, purely simplifying and taking time to appreciate everything has worked wonders. It just took me seeing a world wonder to get there. 

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Arrival in Cusco 28.10.14

Today I arrived in my final destination area of Peru, the mountain city of Cusco.


After a long (and sleepless) 20 hour coach journey from Lima, this view from the old town apartment was a welcomed sight! The coaches here have been surprisingly comfortable, but couple the most winding and twisting roads with your neighbour being about 7 feet tall and 4 times my size in weight, my fears weren't from the bus toppling down the mountain-side, but from me being crushed in my sleep. Hence no shut-eye.  Anyway, I digress...

Cusco is an amazingly beautiful city and I feel honoured to be able to experience this through my campaign work with Last Night A DJ Saved My Life Foundation and Sense UK/Sense International. 
The altitude is something that has hit quite hard and even a couple of hours walking around the markets and streets is knackering. It's not unlike the wobbly zoned out feeling you get after a full festival weekend!  

Tomorrow I come offline for 10 days as the trek experience commences. I don't think I can imagine what amazing sights are to come, and with the trek reaching an altitude of 4,600m, the reality of the physical challenge is just hitting me now.

If you would like to support the Breaking Boundaries campaign, helping deafblind children projects in UK & Peru, you can read more and donate here (copy & paste link into your browser):
uk.virginmoneygiving.com/MissChivers

Sunday, 19 October 2014

Bakery workshop 18.10.14

My final day with Sense International Peru was to visit another one of their workshops, in which the deafblind young adults learn how to bake various products, and which they can then sell to friends, family and neighbours.


Elisa & friend Nancy took us to the San Miguel area of Lima, where these workshops take place in a school for disabled children.
We met Diana and her son Miguel, who is just one of the young adults who benefits from the work Sense International does.
They live three hours away in a district of Lima (Sense provides the funds for transport to the workshops) - but used to live in Iquitos, which is much much further. Miguel is 23, and just learning sign language.

They moved to the district outside Lima and met one of the teachers, who brought Miguel into the workshop project. He has tumours in his brain that affect language too, but they are non cancerous. 

The bakery workshops provide a much needed sense of belonging for both the deafblind young adults *and* their families. Not only is it social interaction, the skills they are learning through the guided interpretation can be transferred to the real working place.


During the last week I have experienced only the tip of the iceberg where Sense Internationals projects are concerned. But it's been an amazing insight, and to see first hand how the funds benefit the lives of the children and young adults puts everything into perspective. Through the Breaking Boundaries campaign with Last Night A DJ Saved My Life Foundation and B-Side Project, we hope to continue to provide awareness routes and funds to help these amazing projects. 

If you would like to donate, please visit the sponsorship page.

I am now taking a week off in Mancura, before I undertake a challenge of a lifetime - trekking to Machu Picchu. I am doing this to keep the awareness going and (hopefully) the sponsorship rolling in! 
 
Updates on the trek will follow as posts towards the end of the month.

Thank you for everyone's support so far. MissChivers xx

Thursday, 16 October 2014

Massage workshop 16.10.14

It seems that Peru and massages go hand in hand, or maybe I just look like I need one. After two previous offers this week (albeit from slightly less "kosha" masseurs), I finally succumbed to a proposition I just couldn't refuse.


One of the four Sense International Peru projects is "Occupational Training" for young deafblind adults. Today another member of the Sense Peru team, Kiomi, took us to the Productive Centre Salomon Zorrilla, in the Callao area of Lima, where we were able to see (and participate!) in the massage workshop. This workshop is run by partner organisation "Condis" and the funds from Sense International go towards transport for the 10 deafblind students and families participating, and the tools and materials needed.

To see how Angela, the teacher, communicates with the students was amazing, using guide interpretation - this is where the deafblind person feels the hands of the other person as they sign language. Communication for deafblimd people has always left my head reeling - how on earth do they do it? I saw exactly how this is done today and it was mind blowing to say the least. Another of Sense Internationals projects here is to train people in all aspects of sign language, and Angela herself is going through this course to develop her sign skills and understanding.

I must say it was probably the best massage I have had, but then if you think about it, being deafblind means you rely heavily on touch, and therefore incredibly tactile. Learning how to professionally massage not only gives the young adults a sense of purpose and achievement, but it will also eventually lead to inclusion in the workplace with socially responsible companies in the area, and it also provides a version of sensory therapy. 

It was a unique experience to meet Monika, Tono (and Mariella his guide interpreter) Fernando & Carlos (and Carlos' mother Rosa). It was a pleasure to be their massage model! :-)



To find out more about Breaking Boundaries, helping deafblind projects in UK and Peru, and if you have a few pennies to donate, please visit this page: www.uk.virginmoneygiving.com/MissChivers



Sense International / Sense Peru 15.10.14


(Videos will be added to blog soon!)

This morning I met with Bethan (from Sense International, who travelled from London on Sunday) and Cecilia (Sense International Peru) and we took a taxi to the "hippy" area of Lima, Barranco. There we met project workers Jorge and Glidy, and travelled onto chorillos.  We were so welcomed into the home of Mia by her mother. Mia is 18 months old and has Down's syndrome & glaucoma. The project visits Mia and many other families regularly. The effect the simple light ball had on Mia was amazing to see. And these sensory activities and toys are just some things which the projects are introducing. It may seem so basic, but touch and light reactions are just one of the many aspects that can help deafblind children develop. 

We then went onto the home of Jose Luis, who at 21 years old is multi-disabled and bed-bound. Contracting meningitis at 9 months and with no treatment, Jose is hypertonic, and can hear but has very limited vision. His mother received no support until the Sense project found their case and intervened, meaning she was on her own in the situation for over 20 years. She has seen the benefits to her son's quality of life, with massage and respiraritory exercises, and described the help from Sense as being "from the angels".


Sense find cases by reaching out to other community groups and churches, and people there mention the families in need of help. Unfortunately in many situations it's clear that doctors have not followed up on diagnosis, abandon cases and families are left to deal with quite staggeringly difficult medical and social issues.

It's an incredible eye opening experience to see first hand just how the charity helps. And to know that the funds raised through Breaking Boundaries and Last Night A DJ Saved My Life Foundation are supporting this work reiterates how everyone's support is so worthwhile. 

If you have a few spare pennies, please donate here: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/MissChivers



Tuesday, 14 October 2014

no hablo español 14.10.14

So not learning Spanish before I ventured out here is probably going down as one of the biggest school girl errors in MissChivers life history.

A couple of days recuperating at the first apartment (albeit in quite a dodgy area, I didn't venture out much yesterday), I left today to realise I had no idea how I was going to explain to a taxi driver where I needed to go. Luckily the boss of the bakers next to the apartment helped out, hailing a taxi and explaining where my destination in San Borja was. However, this was not before I was shown to his office behind the bakery, played some electronic music and from what I can gather, escaped a proposal of marriage. From buying bread to having 20-question inquisition about why I am single and that I might like to spend time with him (massage included) is rather quick relationship progression, even for me. I declined politely.

I am now at a very aptly named "Happy Up Here" hostel in San Borja, Lima. It's £9.00 per night and beats any hostel I've stayed in back in the UK. As soon as I have worked out my Animoto video editor, I can start adding my video blogs to this, and then you'll see what I mean!

Aside from that, I am getting quite excited about joining the Sense International team tomorrow, which is what this trip and campaign is all about.

** For more info on the campaign and to donate please click here **